J.J. Abrams’ Mystery Box

Patsy Rodenburg “Why I do Theater”

OK, not technically a TED talk, but part of their “Best of the Web” series

Jamil Abu-Wardeh on Bringing Comedy to the Axis of Evil

Dan Gilbert Researches Happiness

We are taking an end of summer break.  We’ll be back with new content on September 14th.

Photo by dorena-wm

Woohoo!  You get a hand clap!  If you’ve followed the advice in parts one and two of this series then you’ve got a finished film in your hands.  That is a huge deal, so congratulations!

By now you understand just how much hard work it takes to get a film in the can and the hard work continues as you find ways to get your film out into the world.

I believe the internet offers the most opportunity to get exposure for your work but you can also benefit from submitting your film to festivals and competitions.  The attitude should be, any chance to get your film in front of people is an opportunity you should take.  You never know who will be in the audience: a casting director you’ve wanted to get in front of, someone interested in financing your next film or another actor you want to work with.  My motto is, always say yes to screening opportunities for your film.

Film festivals can get expensive quickly with the submission fees.  You might want to consider making this a line item in your initial budget so it’s accounted for.  Withoutabox is a free membership site for filmmakers where you can streamline the submission process for over 5,000 film festivals worldwide.  It allows you to create profiles for each of your films so the submission process becomes a matter of a few clicks instead of filing out the same information over and over again for each festival submission.

An added bonus is IMDB owns Withoutabox which means the opportunity to get your film listed on the IMDb website is greater.  It isn’t an automatic guarantee and there’s still a procedure to follow, but if you’re film gets into any significant film festival it’s usually a fairly straight forward process.  Getting listed on IMDb is an important goal.  It adds credibility to your name as a legitimate actor/producer.

So back to the main purpose of this series, How To Be A Star.  Dictionary.com defines star as we reference it to be “a person who is celebrated or distinguished in some art, profession, or other field”.  So the next question to ponder is how does someone become celebrated or distinguished?  Usually they perform at a high level in their field and gain mass followers who love what they do.  In other words, they have a fan base (more on this in a second).  When a film star gets millions of dollars to star in a film, it’s because the producers and studio of that film know the star has a large fan base most likely to spend money to see a film featuring that actor.  This justifies the high salary and makes it a logical business decision.

Staying focused on business for a second, it’s important to remember that even though you’re an artist, you are still in a business, the entertainment business.  In business the main question is always how will I make this venture a success?  The sooner you can embrace this, the better off you’ll be.  Normally success is defined in terms of making money but I encourage you to think outside the box when defining success for your first project.  A short film won’t likely make you a fortune, but if you can turn that short film into a loyal base of fans for your work, this can pay dividends down the road.  Regardless of how you define success, make sure you have clearly defined goals for what you want to accomplish with your finished film.

Using our bigger goal of becoming a star, a great business goal at this stage would be to build your fan base.  This doesn’t necessarily have initial money rewards, but down the road, as your fans grow, they will be way more valuable then if you just focus on the short term and getting the money you put into your film back.

Let’s create a practical example.  If you build a fan base of 20,000 dedicated followers this automatically gives you power to use in a number of ways.  You could approach a sponsor to fund your next project.  Knowing they will be able to expose their brand to your followers who trust you is an attractive opportunity for them.  A producer may see your fans loyally commenting about you all over the web and decide to bring you in for a role on their latest show.  The possibilities are endless but it all starts with building your fan base.  So how do you do this?

I love the internet.  It’s a wondrous place that levels the playing field for people like you and me.  We may not have the big marketing budgets like the studios and networks, but on the internet it doesn’t take a lot of marketing dollars to get your stuff out there right next to the big boys.  The goal is to use the internet to build a fan base not only for your film but for you as an actor.

Let’s explore a simple strategy for establishing your internet presence with your project.  From there you can personalize things specifically for your film.

Establish a presence for your project with an official website, a Facebook page and a YouTube channel.  You want to establish a consistency between each of these places so, for example, if the name of your film is “I Am A Star” then you’d want your official website to be iamastar.com, your Facebook page should be facebook.com/iamastar and your YouTube channel would be youtube.com/iamastar.  Now let’s look at each of these individually.

The I Am A Star Official Website

The main reason to have an official website is to give your project legitimacy.  You also want to use this site as the hub you direct anyone to who you tell about your film.

My recommendation is to use WordPress to create your site.  WordPress is a web software that allows you to create a website very simply.  It is famous for the five minute installation designed to allow the average joe to be up and running in no time even with limited web design knowledge.  The best part is wordpress is free!  If you want an even simpler option you can sign up for a free blog account at WordPress.com where the back-end is already setup, and then pay a small annual fee to have a custom url attached to your account.  So for example when creating a wordpress.com account your url is normally iamastar.wordpress.com.  But you can change this so that even though wordpress.com is hosting your site the url can be switched to iamastar.com.

Facebook

There are over 500 million people on Facebook now which means everyone should be on there if they have something to share or promote.  You want to set up a dedicated facebook page, sometimes called a fan page for your film or project.  In order to do this you must first have a personal account.  From there you can use Facebook’s help section to get your page up and running.

Once you’ve created your page make sure to customize it with a few simple changes.  Change your Facebook page’s picture.  If you’ve created a poster for your film you can use this or any memorable image that represents your film well.  This is an important image as it is often the first thing someone will see in connection with your film on facebook.  Describe your film in the note box directly below your page photo.  Be sure to include the url for your official site here writing out the complete address, starting with http:// so that it converts to a link people can click on and be automatically sent to your website.  What’s great about facebook is it allows you to initiate dialogue with your fans.  Post questions to your wall related to your film or your films subject.  By getting people engaged you are developing rapport and increasing their loyalty to you and your film.  Lastly name your facebook page.  Customizing your facebook page is known as creating a Facebook Vanity url for your page.  In order to be able to do this you must have at least 25 fans.  You can then visit the Facebook user name dashboard to create your vanity url.

YouTube

YouTube is way ahead of all other video distribution sites by a large margin in terms of visitors.  YouTube can be overwhelming with the amount of content available on the site but it’s still a good idea to have a presence there.  As with Facebook, customize your channel with a picture related to your film and a description with a link to your official website.  You can also further customize by changing the color combinations of your channel to tie into your film or official site in some way.  Once you upload your film or at least a trailer of your film to YouTube, then you can embed that video on your website and on your Facebook page.  It also allows your fans to embed your film on their websites and facebook pages so they can spread the word and help you build that all important fan base.

Stay Active

Get these up and running and you’re off to a great start, but it’s important to remember none of this will matter if you don’t stay active on these sites you’ve created.  Consider asking people on your team to help out.  Have your cast and crew write guest posts on your website about the process of making the film.  Make them administrators on your facebook page so they can update it with news about your film.  Bring on an intern and have them update your YouTube channel and Facebook page by responding to any comments etc. you receive from your fans.  Have them visit other people’s channels on YouTube to make comments on their videos so you can build a rapport with others in the community.

You should also consider starting a mailing list for your fans.  This is the one thing you can own that isn’t connected to a third party site and in my opinion holds the most value over time.  These are people who we assume like your work and so when you move onto your next project you can take that mailing list with you to the next project and already have a built in following.  An email marketing company like Aweber can be used to manage a mailing list with software that lets you put an opt-in form on your website and facebook page very easily.

Final Thoughts

A lot of filmmakers I talk to think they shouldn’t create their internet presence until after they’ve finished their film.  I believe the opposite.  As soon as you know you’re committed to making your project get your internet presence up and running.  Then include your fans in the process of making your film.  Tell them about the casting process, locations you’re considering etc.  Get their feedback.  The more you can include them in the process, the more invested they will be in your film and the more likely they are to share it with their friends and family and become loyal fans for years to come.

Good luck with your projects.  It’s a huge challenge to make a film and get it out into the world but also very rewarding.  If you have a question you can always shoot me a message.

Here’s to your creativity and becoming a star!

An Urban Retreat by Carrie Meadows

Manouschka Guerrier’s Top LA Eats for Under $12

More Top LA Eats for Under $12 from Manouschka Guerrier

Get Camera-Ready with LA’s Best Health & Beauty Bargains By The Broke Girls

Men’s Stylist Lolo Kartikasari on Getting Your (Man’s) Look Together

THE SOUND Music Guru Jeffrey with Songs for Summer

THE SOUND Music Guru Jeffrey Kicks it Old School

THE SOUND: Music Guru Jeffrey’s Summer Playlist

Claire’s Link Love

Sarah’s Link Love

Photo by Sids1

How has the landscape of comedy changed in the last 10 years?

Since I mainly work in features, I’m going to speak to that.  What we largely see in film (television follows suit here too), is when a film becomes a hit, everyone tries to grab that magic formula, and they just keep trying to make the same film.  You can see how these trends rise and fall by looking at the successful films over the last several years and see how everyone else tries to copy that same formula. In the early 2000s you saw a lot of broad family comedies like How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Big Momma’s House, Legally Blonde, & Nutty Professor - which sprang us into the more extreme comedies like American Pie and Scary Movie. Then we hit the wave of sweet and funny movies like My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Elf, and Meet the Parents. That produced an edgier and hilarious group of comedies like Wedding Crashers, 40 Yr. Old Virgin, and The Hangover. Everyone is trying to duplicate what works and ride that wave.

Besides relying on agents & managers, how do you find new comic talents? Do you see stand up, improv shows, theater in LA? Any favorite spots?

Yes, I seek out all the usual places – The Improv, The Comedy Store, Groundlings, Upright Citizen’s Brigade, Second City, IO West.  But now, with the Internet, I can do SO much research online through YouTube. Facebook also helps me track great and funny people that are breaking through on the web.

Have you ever called in someone after spotting them on a web series?

I’m getting ready to – can’t tell you who yet!

What are the best ways for non-represented actors to get your attention to come in for a particular project?

When I’m casting a film or television I make a wish-list of actors that I’d like to bring in. Then I go through all the agent and manager submissions and add them to that list. Then I meet and pre-read actors that look interesting from these submissions whom I don’t know – based on their credits and demo reels.  Then I like to think outside the box for ideas that don’t necessarily fit in with how the character is described, but would be really interesting to see play the part because they bring something to it that’s not on the page and will be unexpected. For me, those are usually the most exciting casting choices.  If we still haven’t found what we’re looking for, we’ll open it up to submissions on Actor’s Access and I’ll bring in actors who fit the description and pre-read them.  In terms of getting on my radar if you’re not represented, you can either send a postcard for a specific role in a specific project or submit yourself through Actor’s Access when you see a role you’re right for.

What advice do you have for actors who have done more dramas who want more access to comedy auditions?

I really can’t bring you in if you don’t have comedy training and/or have done some comedy films/tv shows.  Having training and actual on-set or stage experience in comedy is going to put you at the top of the pile. There are so many funny and well-trained actors in town, there’s really no reason to bring in someone who doesn’t have the experience or timing yet.  On the set or in the audition room is not the place to “find your chops”.  SO, if you don’t have the training – go get some!

Who are the new & upcoming comic talents you expect to see lots from in the next couple of years?

I just cast two very funny guys in my pilot, The Paul Reiser Show, which is got picked up for series (mid-season). I think Andrew Daly is just hilarious and could be the next Steve Carell. He comes from UPC and Mad TV, and was on the HBO Series Eastbound & Down. I also cast Larry Dorf as a guest star, which will recur on the series playing Paul Reiser’s agent.  He’s kind of a mix between Jack Lemmon and Tom Hanks.  I just love this guy.  He also comes from a big comedy background – The Groundlings.

Anything else you’d like to tell our readers about auditioning, casting and/or comedy?

What I’m seeing a lot of these days are actors mistakenly taking a Casting Director workshop for actually training.  I see them put the workshop on their resume as “training”.  It’s really not.  You’re really just doing a paid cold-reading for a Casting Director – and maybe getting some insight as to how their office works.  So I urge everyone who’s starting out to take some legitimate classes.  Find an acting teacher who’s method syncs with yours and train.  Don’t forget that your training doesn’t stop when you start working.  I just shot an episode of my web-series, Your Actor MBA, and talked to 3 working actors in their 40s and they were ALL still taking class. Another thing I’d like to see actors do is to use the Breakdowns as a reference only. Don’t approach your audition as “What are they looking for?” or, “How can I make myself into a square and get it through this round hole?”  Rather than trying to fit yourself into what you think we want, make some character choices and bring in a fully fleshed-out character that shows us who YOU are!

To learn more about Marci’s new venture Your Actor MBA, click here.  She describes it as “an eleven week on-line video course that gives actors the opportunity to learn the business from industry professionals about their craft. It was designed to make you feel like you were at a wonderful dinner party and were able to ask all the questions that you’d like to talk about with our guests.  My partners and I have been working on this since January and we’ve come up with a very exciting line-up of guests for our weekly episodes which will show actors what they need to succeed in this business, in a very entertaining way – but not just talking heads or a boring interview!”  The program features guests from all aspects of the industry, from showrunners to stylists, from acting coaches to financial experts.

It has been one freaking hot summer, pardon my French. I couldn’t get enough air conditioning. Hot, hot hot! It became my mission to find air conditioning.  Industrial strength air conditioning. Anywhere and everywhere I could. So, I crept into various retail stores, nearly every supermarket, movie theatre and drugstore insight, slowly (painstakingly slow if it was a scorcher that day) perusing the merchandise and enjoying the cool,  cool chill of  what one could only equate with that of a meatlocker. I just chill out, take my time, enjoy the feeling of the air blowing the sweat off my face and listen to the ultimate mix: my summer cool-ada…

MY-POD: The Sound-track: ULTIMATE SUMMER COOL-ADA MIX

(1)MARK RONSON/Q-TIP/THE BUISNESS INTERNATIONAL

Bang Bang Bang!

Hot. Hip. Boppy!  On behalf of your ears and feet, you may just want to, ahead of time, thank god for Mark Ronson. It seems everything he touches turns to sonic gold . Here, he turned out another rollicking groove fueled with a lickety split rhyme by no other than Q-Tip (and featuring The Business International) get ready to jump up and down!!!

“Bang! Bang! Bang!”

Spoiler alert: Heed QW-tip’s warning: “Un Deux Tois, turn it up”!!!!

(2)LET’S GET LOST- Bat For Lashes and Beck

On paper, it is a collaboration of the sublime. But once the song comes on, you are instantly entranced by this love struck Romeo and Juliet pairing. Both take turns inviting the other to succumb to 1 night of ecstasy.  Turn it on, tune in, give in and get ‘lost’ with this tween soundtrack standout.

(3)CHEMICAL BROTHERS  Swoon

This is the perfect time for a breathtaking, fresh update on the whole, ‘all you need is love’ message that the Beatles started 40 some years ago. Here is an energizing reminder from the Chemical Brothers that in this life, as you venture out into the world, “just remember to fall in love, if nothing else.” (Consider it advice from your nagging, rave-club mother.)

(4)DEPARTMENT OF EAGLES Brightest Minds

This melodious, haunting ditty about an improvised battle of the wits face-off, creeps up slowly. And just as you start to tap your toes, it is already too late: you’ve fallen victim to the clever seduction that is this unassuming spellbinder. Even if it happens to you again, on repeat listen, (and it WILL) Department of Eagles are there to encourage you not to worry your pretty little head.- That this happens to some of the best, some of the ‘BRIGHTEST minds’….

(5)BASEMENT JAXX/ SANTIGOLD  Saga

Basment Jaxx places Santigold in front of a mirror to face her demons , invoking a new wave voodoo vocal snake dance.  Confronting her inner cynic, ‘Saga’, Santi calls out her trouble making critic, with a fun shame and blame game. “Your just limiting all the possibilities!”  she warns. Tisk, tisk. Mama puts drama to task! Oh, snap!  This one is a literal exercising of the demons…

(6)Portishead- Chase the tear

The artists formerly known as the soundtrack to your sex life in the mid 1990’s just got spicier. And dicier. Imagine Giorgio Moroder of Donna summer fame giving Beth Gibbons a make-over. Oh yeah, baby. It is risky and frisky and…wait. Where is the air conditioner? It is hot in here. (Get ready for a whole new soundtrack…)

(7) Dan Black CIGARETTE PACK

He mashed up Notorious B.I.G and Rhianna to create a great, harmonious symphony. Here, Dan Black paints a picture of a youthful day-dreaming tenor whose vengeful ambitions are chronicled on said cigarette dispenser.  Detailing his big picture plans, he maps out the rest of his life and plots the perfect strategy to leave home and take over the world. It’s a heartbreaking exit plan. One that you somehow know will never take place. Oh, the possibilities…

(8) AU REVOIR SIMONE   The Last One (Mack Winston dub)

A whimsical but sultry tango takes place in a smoke filled Brooklyn bar, where saying and doing don’t really seem to correspond. The whole, ‘you don’t really know me’ thing has never been sexier as the girls coyly plead to be released from your un-accountable clutches. Au Revoir Simone slowly reject you, passing it off as their defeat, all the while entrancing you, giving new meaning to “no means yes’,  (yes, yes, YES please!!)

BZZZZZ:

M.I.A   Queen of mesh, mish and mosh

WARNING: On her latest album, M.I.A clearly indicates once and for all that she is not gunning for some sort of Joni Mitchell Lyrical Laureate Prize. If this is not a bone of contention for you, the listener, (or you the b.s police) , if you can begrudge her this one relatively small oversight,  if you can sign on for her so called subversive style(i.e. rhyming ‘free country’ with ‘chicken factory’), if you are willing to make these concessions, than READ ON: you may discover that she (a) actually has an interesting point of view, contrary as it may be.  (b) you might even enjoy her clever lyrical content, though the social/ politcal  aspects may be contradictory….Hell..at the very least, depending on how discerning your ear actually  is, you might enjoy the sonic pleasures of ‘Maya”, M.I.A’s third album.  After all, what “Maya” does provide is a unique (in the context of what is popular music today) composition of vocals paired with an array of sounds.

Her style has always been a blend of hip-hop, rap, auto tune and sound effects. This process, seemingly built from the ground up, is almost rare for an artist these days.(Especially a solo female artist.) And, though she doesn’t play an instrument, her unique methods of music making haven’t really been practiced recently, certainly outside of Bjork.

(Translation: Sorry, Lady Gaga. You may be more skilled as a musician, able to sit at your piano, crafting radio gems, but M.I.A ‘s music making process proves far more progressive.)  And she certainly would like you to think they are far more progressive than Gaga. M.I.A’s knack, not totally unlike Lady Gaga(Sorry, M.I.A-Don’t go ballistic and Tweet my cell number for the world to see!) lies in the art of wordplay, phrasing and catchy sing-song repetition games. One could even say that she likes to mesh.

Even point of view is meshed up with sound effects and distortions, though it doesn’t fare as well as, you get the impression, she would like it to. Then again, the impression she makes is enough to start a dialogue: Is it good? Is it crap? Is it pop? Is it art? Is it pop-art?

It is mesh. (Not pastiche, mesh!)

“It Takes a Muscle” may be a cover of an 8o’s Dutch pop ditty, but is a delight, where an artful use of auto-tune meets her reggae, Rastafarian sunshine, summer groove.

“Xxxo” is her best claim to pop radio stake, (Including a Jay-Z remix to boot ) with Maya all up in da club and  a top 40 jingle hook that could be double as her bling-tone. She ‘tweets’ on the ‘iphone’, casts herself as a Tarrantino-esque muse and shrewdly plays a cat and mouse game: ‘Xxxo xxxo You want me be somebody who I’m really not’.

“Lovealot” is the kinda stuff Eminem would have been praised for: Calling out Ghandi and Obama, all the while claiming to be a real softie, with a lot of love to give, yet a lot of people to fight.

“Born Free”, fueled by a sample of suicide’s “Ghost Rider”, has the thrash- rock dance abandon that recalls the days of Violent Femmes and The Ramones. She even has a message to give, though, again, it is intentionally distorted

Though many songs here play with her as M.I.A The social critic, disenchanted with the culture of modern connectivity( the tweeting on twitter,  google-ing Facebook-ing, iphones and itunes), it is her escape from that conceit where her meshing works to best effect.

“It iz what it iz” almost has Maya, along with an electro-Bollywood score, bouncing her voice around the room as if it were a super ball. And “Space” has her disconnect from her agenda completely: She can’t answer the phone, retaliate or even politicize. She even states that she wants to introduce her point of view, but gets distracted and fails to.  This is some of the best work on the album and the least complicated, not rife with conflicting messages/lyrical content.

By albums end, if you can  accept the contrarian that is M.I.A and permit yourself to float along with her,  disconnect, dance and sing along with utter, shameless abandon, “Maya” just might be your summer jam.

YOUTUBE: Under The Covers

Sneaker Pimps Cover David Bowie’s “Ashes to Ashes”

Here is a random and rare cover from one hit wunderkind Sneaker Pimps. They channel the Ziggy Stardust vibe of glitter and glam rock and even manage to sound like young Bowie himself.

Arcade Fire cover Violent Femmes “Kiss Off”

Wyn Butler and company take on the anthem of your teenage years with verve and gusto. Who gets this physically close to the audience AND conducts a sing along?

Sia covers Madonna’s ‘Oh Father’

Digging into Madonna’s archives doesn’t sound like something to expect from Sia’s set list.

But don’t doubt this talent-she channels her daddy issues and the heart Madonna displayed when singing this, re-creating a classic father/daughter tale. She is simple, raw, pure and soulful.

Vampire Weekend covers Fleetwood Mac ‘Everywhere’

Those boys known as the inventors of upper west side afro-pop bring their graceland feel to a forgotten Fleetwood Mac song and give Christine Mcvie a little run for her money.

Fanfarlo cover Smashing Pumpkins ‘We only come out At Night’

This brit Indie/rock import proves what a great song Smashing Pumpkins created back in the day (and doesn’t make you miss Billy Corgan’s rarely displayed falsetto.) Lush, sweet and dreamy. Night-night.

Sting covers Human League “Don’t You Want Me”

It feels like 80’s karaoke night at sting’s house. The yoga aficionado himself turns in  a ham-tastic rendition / Interesting choice of cover tune, if not just for the mere novelty.

(Wonder if he ever would have covered this bubble gum classic back in the day when the Police ruled stadium rock…)

Mumbai immediately came to mind. Mumbai (formerly called Bombay) is India’s most populous city and the home of Bollywood, which is the catch-all name given both to a type of large-scale, commercial movie the city is famous for and the industry scene itself. While at Minerva we focus on energizing and evolving the conversation of the LA acting life, I’ve always hoped we’d have the opportunity to explore acting in Bollywood.  When Mark Bennington, one of LA’s busiest headshot photographers, sent me an email about an on-going project in which he’s juxtaposing images of the Hollywood actor and the Bollywood actor, I knew I’d found our man.

While the term ‘Bollywood movie’ is likely to evoke images of the family-oriented musical romances that are the industry’s economic powerhouses, Mumbai is also home to a rich tradition of independent filmmaking that began with the Parallel Cinema movement of the 1950s. In the 1970s, Bollywood films began to take an ever-increasing share of the international box office, with particularly large audiences in the US and Russia. And of course, with the attention brought by the recent success of Slumdog Millionaire, a new crop of international producers and investors is exploring the city’s film community.  Last month, Mark and I sat down to discuss his January 2010 trip to Mumbai to document the lives of its actors. He was immediately struck by how much the city felt like LA – the beaches, the population, the big dreams, and, of course, “the Starbucks where all the aspiring actors hang out.” Here are a selection of photos from this work-in-progress and the stories behind the images.

Ashwin Mushran

One enormous difference between Hollywood and Bollywood is the absence of acting unions in India. As such, residuals payments for actors don’t exist, and the industry functions relatively agent-less; actors negotiate their own deals, and actors at all levels find auditions through their personal networks and word-of-mouth. Ashwin Mushran, a Mumbai native, attended drama school at The Drama Studio in London. Ashwin’s career is exceptional because he works in several areas of the industry (voice over, movies, television) at once. Explains Mark, “There’s far less cross-over between media for the actor in Mumbai than in the States.” Ashwin is also one of the few to have a manager. Many of his opportunities come from his three years of starring on The Great Indian Comedy Show, a popular television series. His current bread-and-butter, like many American actors’, is commercials. Though booking a couple of ‘nationals’ a year isn’t going to cut it for the Mumbai actor; with a day rate of 7,000 rupees ($150.00) and no residuals, there’s no downtime from the hustle.

Puja Verma

In this photo, Puja Verma prepares in her dressing room of Bhagya Vidhata, a popular soap opera. Puja comes to acting after attending college in the US and working a corporate job in Minneapolis. Upon her return to India, she took an acting class as a hobby and saw an audition posting for the soap at her acting studio. She won the part and now spends on average 25 days a month shooting.

Neetu Chandra

Neetu Chandra is in her prime as a Bollywood starlet. She works only in features and is recognized as one of the country’s most exciting up-and-comers, “Comparable to Charlize Theron, 10 years ago,” says Mark. Neetu is from Northern India and began working after a year-and-a-half of struggling in Mumbai. One of Neetu’s particular talents is using the press to keep her image in front of the public and producers. At the time of this shoot, Neetu was in the news for appearing in a newspaper in risque, Sapphic photographs with another actress. Mark was struck at how assertively she managed their session, coming to set – entourage in tow – with tons of ideas for

Neetu Yogas

set-ups. Yet despite the star trappings, Mark said she was “sweet as can be” throughout the shoot and ended the day by extending an invitation to tea with her and her brother.

Mussasir Zafar at Whistling Woods Film School

Whistling Woods International is an established film school in Mumbai that offers a two-year acting program. In this photo, student Muddasir Zafar participates in an emotional recall exercise. With a $29,000 price tag, the program is in the reach of only the most privileged students. One of the organizing structures of Indian society is its caste-system, a Hindu social stratification system in which social classes are defined by hereditary groups. Though caste-based discrimination was outlawed by India’s Constitution in 1949, the system is still prevalent and certain professions are dominated, controlled, and/or accessed only by certain castes and sub-castes. As such, Mark explained, “It’s likely that you have to be pretty well-off, to have a lot of support from home, to come to the big city and try to make it acting. Survival jobs don’t really exist. Maybe here and there, but – because of the caste system – you can’t just go out and get a job waiting tables.”

Naved Aslam

“Mumbai is India’s film city, Delhi is its theater capital – much like the LA/New York split here,” explains Mark. Naved Aslam spent the 80s in Delhi as a theater actor and then began working behind the scenes in Mumbai’s film industry in the 90s. As an actor, he started working steadily in films in 2000. Naved still works in the theater, though, including a turn in an Indian production of Threepenny Opera that toured the states in 2004. He also teaches acting. What stood out about Naved during the shoot? “He has so much integrity in the way he talked about acting, theater, the whole process,” says Mark.  “He’s seriously dedicated.”

Shashi Kapoor

Shashi Kapoor is the proprietor of The Prithibi Theater in Mumbai, one of Mumbai’s most established theaters, “Like the CTG, The Taper in LA,” says Mark. Shashi is a member of the Kapoor family, a huge theater dynasty in India (comparable to the Barrymores or Lunts back in the day) and was a “megastar” in films in the 1960s and 70s.

Deepak Dobriyal has been in the business for ten years. He too started in the theater in Delhi and moved to Mumbai in 2002. He recently won a Special Performance Filmfare Award (India’s equivalent of the Oscar) for an adaptation of Othello called Omkara. He now gets offers for parts, but he still auditions frequently, estimating that he’s booked 25 jobs out of 1,000 auditions. Here, Deepak sits in producer Guneet Monga’s office. “The movie industry in Mumbai feels like a giant campus,” says Mark. “When they’re not working, between appointments, everyone just hangs out in each others offices, playing ping pong, hatching ideas and plans.”

Deepak Dobriyal

Gaurav Gera spent three years acting with Ashwin in The Great Indian Comedy Show and now appears on another comedy series for Sony in which he plays a woman (which, he says, happens often). He began his career as a dancer and then got his break on India’s version of Ugly Betty (playing a man). He works 4-7 days a month at $3,000 a day, much of it earned hosting award shows and charity functions. “He was so relaxed,” said Mark. “See his shirt? ‘Cheers to Being Single’? That’s Gaurav.”

Gaurev Gera

Mark recalled that, in each of his conversations, the actors said it would be the “will of God” that would ultimately determine the height of their careers. The decision to come to Mumbai to pursue their dreams was a way of embracing their destiny, whereas so many of us come to Hollywood in order to transcend what we perceive as ours. Bollywood’s ethos is to “dream bigger” at the same time that one’s opportunity to even play the game is deeply influenced by one’s place in the caste system. Yet India’s biggest star is Sharukh Khan, whose working class Muslim origins placed him far outside the Hindu establishment. “They love him,” explains Mark, “because his is such a Hollywood story.” As with any vibrant artistic community, Bollywood’s creative lifeblood, like Los Angeles’, may lie in its contradictions.

Mark will return to Mumbai later this year to continue documenting its actors. To see more images of this project and others (including his headshot work), visit his website.

Post Title Image – Puja Verma on the set of Bhagya Vidhata

All images copyright Mark Bennington Photography

Perseverance: My Lessons with Judith Ivey By Robert Dolan

Connection, Wisdom and Inspiration: My Friendship with Tony Award-Winning Actor Elizabeth Wilson By Liz Morton

10 Books to Inspire By Brendan O’Malley

Queer as Folk’s Scott Lowell: A Theatre Snob Finds His People…in TV

From Treading the Boards to Lighting Myself on Fire By Naomi Peters

A Clarion Call to Dream and Plan Big! By Lesli Ishii

Breaking into Winter’s Bone: an Interview with Lauren Sweetser By Laine Monica Baker

So I Married an Actor By Jody Rosen Knower

Love, Work and Documentaries By Claire Winters

Josh Gad of “The Daily Show” and “21″ Pt. 2 By Sarah Sido

Photo By FriaLOve

Risa has cast over 65 movies including Desperately Seeking Susan, Wall Street, Something Wild, Angel Heart, Fatal Attraction, Born on the Fourth of July, Talk Radio, JFK, Sneakers, The Joy Luck Club, True Romance, Speed, How To Make An American Quilt, Dead Presidents, Twister, and Flirting with Disaster and numerous television shows, including Roseanne, CSI:NY, and the recent Universal/NBC pilot, The Cape, which was picked up for 2011. Risa was a Producer on Oliver Stone’s films Heaven and Earth and Natural Born Killers, movies she also cast. Risa’s developed a passion for teaching. She holds Master Classes in acting and auditioning in Los Angeles & throughout the US and Canada. She coaches actors on an individual basis as well. Visit her Facebook Page for more on her class schedule and her blog with audition advice and career perspective.

What is it about what we do that we love? What makes us do this thing? This acting thing. How much is it artistry? How much is it salesmanship? How much of it is just the grind in pursuit of the chance to be who we really are?

We knock on the door of possibility, hoping that someone inside will throw it open, embrace us, and take us in out of the storm. Sit us by the roaring fire of desired success and tell us how safe we are now, how wonderful we are, how fine it’s all going to be. Well here’s the truth of it – When that door opens, the storm rages on. It’s like the door of a standing set on a sound stage – there’s nothing there but more sound stage.

Once the opportunity presents itself, it’s most likely filled with more pressure, more compromise, more disappointment. It’s never what we expected, what we set up for ourselves. The stakes are higher. Everything’s on the line.

I recently cast a TV pilot – The Cape – and I have to say, as difficult as these experiences always are (pilots are excruciating births), this one was pretty pain-free. I worked on a good project with really good people and I was able to maintain my sanity and my dignity (no easy task for me.) And then the show was picked up for series. And I, knowing better, imagined a paradise of success and happiness. Not so fast… The storm clouds have gathered. As Margo Channing said: “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.”

And while the people are good, and it’s good to have the work, the nature of the beast is that once we get to the other side of that door, the magic is gone and it’s time to get real. In this case, the daily grind of putting out a show and juggling the many new egos that have shown up for the party. The honeymoon’s over.  Grab the last lifeboat. Don’t look back. And the only person who will determine our success – creative and otherwise, our peace of mind and heart… is each of us.

We have so much stuff we have to deal with that’s outside of the real work – the joy of acting, directing, writing, creating.  We have to hustle, to train, to work out, to rehearse, to prepare, to drive long distances in hot cars and immovable traffic just to get to a place where we can have a chance, a moment, to leap into the unknown for 3 minutes, which really only means 20 seconds before they start to twitch, itching to check their iPhones. The suspended instant when we pray that our 10 – 40 years of work will manifest themselves before the crucible closes. We have to work our managers and agents and friends who we dare to ask for favors – if we have managers and agents and friends who will even email us back. We have to find the time for “meaningful self-exploration” and shrink appointments and coaches and hair dying and pilates and… life. And if we don’t get the job, we have to do it again and again and again.

And we see the shows and the movies and know we can do as well, most likely better. Eventually we get angry, tired, disheartened, depressed. We tell ourselves it’s not personal, it’s not about us. But it breaks our hearts. And we start to shut down, to protect that wonderful, open, vulnerable part of ourselves that made us the pure, innocent, devoted artist we know ourselves to be. We don’t recognize ourselves anymore. We stop even wanting to approach the door. We can’t imagine the roaring fire. The only thing roaring is our resentment.

Here’s the thing. That’s all normal. Reasonable. It’s real. It’s human. But we cannot give up our souls to the process of getting work. We can’t weaken. We can’t retreat. We have to find ways to protect ourselves from the rejection and from the heartlessness. We have to protect our artist selves – the fragile and pure creators in us. While at the same time embracing the transaction of our talent for hire. It’s part of what we have to do. And we can actually find a way to welcome, even love it… It’s possible. If we open our hearts and remember the joy of the creative flow that called to us long ago and demanded that we show up every day to do this thing, this intangible, unwrangle-able, scary thing. And then bring ourselves to the door, armored and intrepid.

Do we have to love it all? Of course not. Some of it is incredibly stupid and horrible. And none of that belongs to us. But we do have to love the part of it that we can claim. Our artistry. And there’s artistry in every phase of it. In managing people, in navigating the industry, in preparing ourselves for the moment the door opens, in handling the meetings and auditions and time on the set, and… in letting it go.

There’s an absolute need for artistry in all parts of our lives, enhancing and infusing the work with the passion of our families, our homes, our friends, our other creative endeavors. When Rebecca Romijn had her twins, she became a better actor. I directed her in a film last year and she was more joyful, free, and truly deep in her work. It can be our kids or our rock band or our blog writing or our inward journey, but we all need a place, a way to get purely connected to the expression of our artist selves.

Recently, when I was teaching in Chicago, an actress who had been sitting quietly in the corner for hours, almost invisibly, came down to do a scene. She seemed sort of plain at first, hunched over, not aware of her power and her beauty. But her work was gorgeous. The kind of work that’s free of self-awareness, free of judgment. It’s the kind of work that’s undeniable. She took my breath away. Along with the entire class. It even caught her by surprise. She was so fully inside the “want” of the character. So connected to the other actor. So in the moment. Specific, truthful, willing, available, emotionally present…  And I realized that this is what we have to strive for every day. Focusing on that moment of pure connection, abandoning all expectation, believing absolutely in the creative gods who transport us.

My 13 year-old daughter has been singing in a small kids’ choir, backing up Dead Man’s Bones, Ryan Gosling and Zach Shields’ band. Raw, soulful, eerie, with the sweet humor of this quirky kids’ chorus. Watching them on stage (as I seem to have become a rock ’n roll stage mom) I understand that even someone with infinite “success” finds his liberation in creating something personal and meaningful, on his own terms, and outside the industry that celebrates ambition, celebrity and fast cash. This solidifies for me the core truth that we must each find the divine creation that guides us. We must believe in the spirit of our inspiration and make it our practice to serve our artistry. Every day. Sounds a little religious. Well, in many ways this is our faith. This is our divinity. And that belief, that connection, frees us, and then, somehow, everything else works. It puts it all in perspective. It relieves the pressure. It flows good energy into those places that are artificial and stuck. It makes it easier to love the rest of it. It keeps us true to our artistry, to our humanity, to ourselves. And in fact, it removes the door altogether.

An Insider’s Look at Booking and Shooting TV Guest Stars by Neil Hopkins

Emmy Winning CD Holly Powell on the 4 Steps to Casting a Series Regular

Jason Pugatch on Getting Dropped by Your Agent

Love, Work and Documentaries by Claire Winters

The Actor as Translator: Miki Yamashita on Industry Expectations of Bilingual Actors

Video Interview with Silas Weir Mitchell from Prison Break Parts One and Two by Sarah Sido

Video Interview with Dileep Rao, Star of Avatar and Drag Me to Hell by Claire Winters and Kristina Klebe

How to Set Up a Home Recording Studio by Yuri Lowenthal & Tara Platt

Building a Project with The Artist’s Way by Claire Winters

Grants for Actors by Claire Winters

Photo By The Alieness Gisela Giordano

Joe Hernandez-Kolski is a two-time HBO Def Poet from the city of Chicago (he takes his street cred way too seriously).  He has created several theater pieces that have been performed at the San Francisco Hip-Hop Theater Festival, the New York Fringe Festival, Ars Nova NYC, the Comedy Central stage, you get the idea.  In addition, his short film, “Afterschool’d,” about an afterschool Hip-Hop program gone wrong, was an NBC Comedy Shorts Cuts Finalist.  Joe is a Film Independent Fellow and graduate of Princeton University.

I started writing poetry as a release in high school.  I never thought much of it besides the fact that it made my brain feel better.  When I moved out to LA, I was doing a lot of ensemble-based theater.  Huge shows with 12-15 member casts.  I loved the experience, although I wanted something a bit more visceral and immediate.  Not to mention, a little stage time alone (I’m a Leo, go figure.)  I started gravitating towards the spoken word community.  “Spoken word” is a term often used to describe a specific form of poetry that is written with the intention of performing it.  Part hip-hop, part performance art, part comedy, part storytelling, part ripping-open-your-rib-cage-and-displaying-your-heart-to-be-analyzed.  As long as it’s honest, it’s admired.  I immediately fell in love.  It was incredibly healing for me that people connected with the thoughts that had been rattling around in my head.  And I was making them laugh!  These café open-mics allowed me to share my thoughts on a stage very quickly.  I could write a piece that day and be performing it that night.  I was at a different mic every night.  Mondays were at Luna Sol Café (RIP), Tuesdays at Da Poetry Lounge, Wednesdays at World Stage, Thursdays at Green (RIP).  You get the idea.  Like any artist, I kept wanting more.  One poem wasn’t enough.  One small feature set wasn’t enough.  What if the DJ plays this track when I say this line?  What if the light board op goes to black out on my closing line?  Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t get anyone to come out and see me!  They would say, “So, wait, you’re gonna read a poem?  Just one?  And what time does it start?  10:30??”  At the same time, I was hosting an open-mic called Downbeat 720 that, eight years later, has grown to be LA’s premier open stage for high school performers.  I was hired by a man who is now a dear friend named Justin Yoffe.  One night, as we were preparing for the high school kids, Justin nonchalantly said, “Yeah, if you wanna do a show, I’ll produce it.”  DONE.  I put together a solo show entitled, “You Wanna Piece of Me?” which dealt with my mixed ethnic upbringing, feminism, pop culture and a gang-related shooting that directly affected my family.  This was a major step forward for my work and myself.  One of the main reasons was because I had brought in a director, my buddy Benjamin Byron Davis.   I had seen his two solo shows and really admired what he did.  I believe a director is a crucial component to any solo performer’s work.  You need someone who you trust to watch, sculpt and call you on your bullshit.  He helped me avoid being preachy (or at least he tried).  He helped me take the journey with the audience.  Shortly thereafter, after several videotape submissions and numerous (I mean, NUMEROUS) phone calls, I was able to get on this new TV show that was bringing a lot of attention to the spoken word poetry community, “Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry.” They saved my performance for the season finale and I was very excited.

At the same time, I had reached out to a friend named Saul Williams who is a highly respected poet/musician/actor.  He was one of the first spoken word poets to really “break through” thanks to his performance at the National Poetry Slam Finals and a film called “Slam.”  He referred me to his speaking agency that booked all of his college gigs for him.  I sent them a demo reel and they almost immediately signed me.  And here’s the big reason why I have found success in the college circuit…I FIT A NICHE.  The agency didn’t have any young Latino poets on their roster.  So when Latino Heritage Month came around, they didn’t have any young voices to submit to schools and spoken word poets were HOT at this time.  So when I first got signed in 2004, for those few wonderful weeks known as Latino Heritage Month, I was performing at a different college every night (Thank you, America, for compartmentalizing your ethnic cultures into one-month increments).

So whenever there’s a Latino/Hispanic event at a college, I get the call.  I have two shows : “Refried Latino Pride” and “Cultural Collisions: Commentary for a Changing America.”  I go in, I perform my 45min set of poetry/comedy that pokes fun at my own ethnic identity, I talk about pop culture & music and I even dabble in a li’l feminism.  It’s perfect for the college audience.  In fact, it is very much DESIGNED for them.  My agents originally said, “Your show’s title has to have the word ‘Latino’ in it.”  Then, more recently, we’ve been pushing my work beyond the frame of the Latino community and more along the lines of general diversity, thus the title “Cultural Collisions.”  I recently met with my agents and they helped me tighten up the language in my EPK (electronic press kit).  I am no longer just saying, “Hey, I’m a poet/comedian who wants to come perform for your student body.”  Now I’m saying, “I have created a high-energy interactive show that takes a fresh approach to discussing diversity on your campus.”  How academic does that sound?!

I am very blessed that I get to travel all over the country to some of the most remote colleges and I get to share my thoughts for a living.  I pride myself in being both Mexican and Polish (I’m about as Chicago as you get.).  In the end, my material talks about just being yourself.  One of my favorite moments was when this ethnically ambiguous kid ran up to me after a show and was like, “Hey, man! I’m Mexican and ITALIAN!”  He was so proud.  Normally, us mixed-ethnic kids don’t really know where we stand.  Sometimes I feel like Glinda, the good witch of the North, imploring all ethnically-mixed munchkins to “Come out.  It’s safe now.”

As I said earlier, when Def Poetry first came out, I was doing a ton of shows.  My agency had this “Def Poetry” brand to throw around and schools picked up on it.  In the past few years, now that the show is no longer on the air, the brand has diminished in popularity.  Not to mention the fact that, after six seasons, there are a TON of poets out there capitalizing on the “Def Poet” brand.  So the market’s tougher.  The National Association of College Activities (NACA) is still one of the golden rings that all college performers are fighting for.  The annual NACA conferences happen all over the country.  They are three-day weekends where representatives from all of the colleges in the area get together and watch entertainment.  Then they go into a huge convention room where all of the entertainers have booths set up and discuss possible gigs.   To get on the bill, you need to put together a solid demo reel and either submit yourself or have your agent submit you.  I’ve done it a couple of times to mixed results.  College budgets are really tight these days, particularly for diversity events that, as I said, tend to be my niche.  Not to mention I need something new to grab attention, a new credit or a new “as seen on” that my agents can push.  (All of these damn reality stars keep getting booked and, according to one student, they’re “talking loud and saying nothing.”)

For a few years, I just left it up to my agents to book my college shows.  I was more focused on booking TV and film gigs here in LA.  Nowadays, I try to keep it balanced.  As I keep my eyes peeled on breakdowns, I also do my best to reach out to colleges myself.  It’s been quite a success.  I don’t know if you guys know about this thing called the “internet” but it’s a pretty amazing tool when it comes to tracking down College Activities reps.  On a sad note, I recently dealt with the passing of my mother.  For almost three months, I sat by her bedside in the hospital in Chicago.  I obviously wasn’t able to make auditions in LA.  I was, however, able to work on my computer.  That was when I took the time and tracked people down.  I sent them my EPK with video links to my performances and I got a pretty high percentage of responses.  I then created a spread sheet of all of the college reps who I had contacted.  Some contacts have worked out, some haven’t.  I can tell you this, by starting way back in January, I now have many more gigs booked for this upcoming fall semester than I normally do at this time of the year.  The important thing is I keep sending out new introductions to new schools.  It’s all about the numbers.  I really think that goes for most things in life.  Keep hitting the open-mics, keep submitting yourself to projects, keep calling new boys or girls who you like.  Stop asking, “Why hasn’t that woman called me back?  I thought we really connected.  Why didn’t that casting director reply to my Facebook message?  I thought we were friends.”  It’s about the number of reps not the response.

Now let me briefly discuss pricing.  Over the past few years, my price has gone up and I’m proud of that.  Of course, it still varies widely depending on the school’s budget.  Personally, I hate negotiating (that’s why we’re artists, right?).  I always get less than what my agent is able to get.  It’s their job and they’re great at it.  Sometimes, however, I’ve gotta do it.  Recently, I had a really good experience where I learned to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.  A school rep said, “Normally we pay $2200 for one performance but we’d like you to do two shows back to back so we’ll pay you a bit more.”  My brain said, “Okay, let’s ask for $2500.”  Ya see, I’m a sucker.  Even though that’s less than what I normally get paid for one show, I wanted to help her out.  Well, thanks to the evil AT&T empire, the call got dropped right before I gave her that quote.  She called back and said, “Okay, we can pay you $4500 for two shows.  Is that ok?”  I controlled my enthusiasm and said, “Um…yeah, that’ll work.”

The road is an interesting place to spend so much time.  Sometimes I arrive and see that they’ve made a large effort to promote my show.   There are full color flyers plastered all over the campus.  I arrive to the theater space/lecture hall and there are a ton of kids working to prepare the room.  (On a side note, I’ve also learned how important the actual space is.  If I can control it, I make sure that my stage is on the opposite side of the entrance.  Otherwise, kids will continue to get distracted by those walking in late.  I also tape off the back rows and push everyone forward.  A controlled space is crucial.)  The space fills up and I feel really confident about the work that I’m doing.  For example, I have a poem called “Feminists Anonymous” about a man who is in recovery from being a feminist and he’s attending his first meeting.  I just did that piece at Wellesley College (an all-women’s school) and, wow, talk about a poem finding it’s audience!  Then there are times when, well, shit just don’t work out.  I was hired to do a lunchtime show in Kentucky (oh, yes, just wait).  It was my fault that I didn’t research the show.  Up until that point, I think I would just get the booking info from my agency and go perform.  I would modify my show ONLY if my agents warned me.  For example, I know that when I perform at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, I have to do a Rated PG performance.  My agents had NOT warned me about this show.  But still, I should’ve realized that it was a lunchtime show so, hmm, maybe I should keep out the poem where I say the line, “Work the balls, work the balls.”  Turns out, I was hired not as a poet/comedian but as a KEYNOTE SPEAKER for a conference on diversity and education.  (I’m laughing as I write this.  It’s funny now.  But it wasn’t as I read the numerous comment cards after the show that said, “We loved EVERYTHING…except for the keynote speaker.”)  Nowadays, I check in with the school, make sure that there aren’t any rules and get an idea of who will be in the audience.  I also tailor one of my pieces (“Cool”) to each and every school.

I am very fortunate.  These shows have helped me tremendously as a performer.  If I look back at the first performance and compare it to my most recent show, I can see how much I’ve grown, how comfortable I am on stage now.  I used to sit down in the front row and not talk with any of the students before the performance.  I was so caught up in my ego.  My mind was saying, “Hey, I’m this cool def poet and I need to create this air of importance before I get on stage.”  Nowadays, I don’t give a shit.  I walk around beforehand and introduce myself to all of the students.  It makes the show go so much better.  They’re warmed up to me and vice versa.  They are so much more open to laughing and having a good time because I’ve helped create that space.  And I no longer care about who’s NOT there.  All I care about is who IS there.  If there are only five students, those five students are gonna get the best show they’ve ever seen.  In fact, it might be even better because of the intimacy. (Wait, that rhymed.  Can I use that line?)

Good luck with your own adventures and feel free to reach out to me.

p.s.  I’m heading back to Kentucky this fall.  Wish me luck.

THE ROAD

By Joe Hernandez-Kolski

Another hotel room
Opens in front of my eyes
I wanna crash on the bed
But, shit, it’s already 5
The college student’s arrived
So a quick shit shower and shave as always
I grab my merchandise
I’m back down the hallway

This is the fast pace of livin’ on the road
What you call a hotel I call home!

I.  Am.  Ready.
Or as much as I can be
Cuz I can always see the cracks that you will never see

I arrive to banners and full color flyers
The student council greets me
Hell yeah, they’re excited!
Everyone is dressed to the nines
The men rockin’ suits and ties

Two girls stand in front of me and confess
“We watched all of your YouTube videos”
Hell, yes!
“Oh, cool, I’m glad you liked them or, I mean, I hope you liked them”
I feign slight embarrassment
A tad vulnerability
When in reality I think
You sure as hell should be!
You better find time
My poetry is the shit!
I put together words that rhyme
Like a shoe that perfectly is the appropriate size of the foot!
I traveled all the way from LA
Where I am an actor profesional
Yeah, you may have seen me in Lincoln Heights in the pivotal role of “Store Manager”
Or in The Soloist as “EMT #1”
Or as “Man #2” in Hancock ‘til my scene got cut!

I step on stage
I rock it like a king
The Leo in me
Loves this center ring
It’s good to be the boss
Of my own multi-tiered corporation
Gimme that paycheck for
Getting standing ovations
My sister’s a school social worker
No one ever applauds her at the end of her day
I feel bad but, shit, what can I say?

This is the life!
This is the Road!
What you call some random multipurpose room
I call home!

But some nights…

I show up and my name is misspelled on the flyers
And it’s pouring down rain outside
So there’s a just a handful of people in a student center
And I’ve gotta battle against the SportsCenter chatter
My show’s been moved up by an hour
Cuz the Grey’s Anatomy season finale is on
No one buys a single t-shirt
No one signs the mailing list
One student with her dinner tray
Is like, “Who the hell is this?”
And the few who did show up disappear
Before taking a single pic
I’m left with the one student leader
Who tells her friends, “Yeah, I’ll catch up in a bit.”
We get in the car and she says,
“Whew, well that’s one event down.
Are you hungry?
There’s really nothing open in town
Back out on the interstate
There’s probably a Wendy’s or something
I can run you through a drive thru
On our way back to your hotel room”
Which once again
Opens in front of my eyes

And I have so much energy
But it’s just me, myself and my fries
And before I realize
The silence is asking me
Have you really made the most of your life?
Sitting on a hotel bed
Having pretend conversations with your fictional wife
I drown him out with the sounds of the TV
Late night “Law & Order” on TNT
(Dear God, how many episodes of this show did they make??)
Great!  Now I’m gonna be up all night!
I just had a Big Classic Combo
And it’s way past midnight!
I’ve gotta get up way before check out
Please tell me they have a fitness center
Here so I can work out!

I turn off the lights and try to get to bed
But, dammit, I can’t get these thoughts out of my head
I know they wanted it to feel like a cafe
But did they really have to put a carpet on the stage?
So I slip at the top of the show
So when that drunk kid wouldn’t shut up I was about to blow
Did I say too much when I started to vent?
Was I being personal or a self-indulgent mess?
Shit, I forgot to call my roommate
Now it’s too late
I guess I’ll take a taxi home
There’s 30 bucks down the drain
I might have to buy a new car
How can I afford that?
Combine it with my mom’s bills
How can I make an impact
When I can’t even pay off my credit card?
Mom, why didn’t you tell me it was gonna be this hard?
I miss you so much on a daily basis
Your face appears in so many places
I’m trying so hard to get out
Of my own internal prison cell
The back pain
The self-doubt
And now I’m getting dizzy spells
With no health care
And money that comes and goes
And at Christmas Time
Who’s gonna help me buy my dress clothes?

You left me with so much still to prove
So much I wanted to do for you
The trips we were supposed to take
I kept postponing our Mexican cruise
I’m trying so hard to live up to your high expectations
The faith you placed in me is truly a blessing

This emotion that I’m feeling
This right here is what life is about
And I’m beginning to understand that now
You taught me to stop
Take a deep breath
Look around
Even when it was embarrassing
I knew that you were proud
You had the entire movie crowd applaud for my credit
Even though you saw my face for less than a second
These are all steps in my journey
This is where I’m meant to be
Traveling ‘round the country
I am very lucky and very happy
I will perform for anyone anywhere
I don’t care about who’s not there
Just gimme a space and a mic
And I will share my most intimate thoughts and moments
It takes courage to take a look at your own life and own it

I’ve got so many should’ve could’ve would’ves
But I let those go
So many nights I got nervous around a woman
When I should’ve just gone in for the kiss
So many jobs I missed
Because I was too scared to fully commit
So many mornings I was ready to call you and call it quits
But I do not give up
Because if one thing had changed
Even the slightest bit
I might not be here tonight
Experiencing this

This hotel room
As usual too deep in my head
Fuck, now it’s really late
I’ve gotta get to bed!
Let it go ‘til tomorrow
Then I’ll figure out the exact reason why I was born
For now I’m wondering
Will the college pay for it if I order porn?
Cuz this is who I am
This is what you get
One minute I’m contemplating life’s questions
One minute I’m horny as shit

And before I know it
Another hotel room
Closes in front of my eyes
I walk outside to beautiful blue skies
I miss you, Mom
But you know I’m gonna be alright
I keep moving
I’ve got another show tonight.